Mr Normal

"Look at me" he said.
"I`m proud of what I am
"I'm honest - often - And if I lie, it's only because I have to.
I do it less than some I know who think they're relatively truthful.
I'm not unfaithful to my wife -
Not in any normal sense
When "normal" means
Sleeping with her friends.
There have been times, I do admit, I've been obliged to oblige
A friendly "bit of skirt" -
But always most discreetly, mind,
And with the understanding it's Strictly "entre nous" - with absolutely
No strings attached - is that understood?
I haven't stolen anything since I was a kid,
OK. Yes. When my house was broken into, I did inflate the losses;
Everyone does the same - I mean - you beat the system if you can,
Or the system will beat you.
It's what you learn at school.

"Look at me" he said. "Do I look abnormal?"